My snarkiness is not a defense mechanism
If you’ve never met me in person, you may not be aware that I’m a fairly sarcastic person. In fact, I’m so well-known for it that when I don’t zing somebody, everyone worries.
Depending on your point of view, I probably sound like an awful person, but nearly all of those people who worry when I’m not snarky will tell you that I very rarely have any malice behind my barbs (and when I do, even the person on the receiving end agrees it was warranted). It’s just how I communicate, even with my students (who often give that sarcasm right back to me).
Over the last year, though, more and more people have started suggesting that those who employ sarcasm suffer from a number of things: low self-esteem, elitism, cynicism, aggressive personalities. In short, it’s being seen more and more as a defense mechanism.
Well, I perpetually sell my myself short while at the same time understanding I have a great wealth of talents and knowledge at my fingertips. I am a bit jaded, but most people find me more assertive or passive than aggressive. And I’m sarcastic. I’m good at it, and I take a bit of pride in that (right up until I realize that my fiction writing is woefully dry next to how I normally talk)!
For me, sarcasm is subconscious. It comes out without any real thought on my part for the most part. I do sometimes use it to get someone to think about what they’ve just said if it clearly wasn’t what they meant to say. I’ve used it with “tough guy” students in an attempt to build rapport. (It works more often than you’d think. Teenagers like being able to have snarky banter.) It’s just my mode of conversation.
